Things of a certain length bother me (and let’s refrain from the obvious joke here).

Hair, for instance.

The age of Rapunzel is long (if you’ll pardon the pun) gone. Sure, I’ve got long hair. But it stops well before my behind. And let’s be real. If I let the length get out of control, I maintain that my friends are fully within their rights to tackle me to the ground with a pair of scissors in order to “fix me.”

So, it really boggles my mind when I see women (rare as they may be) sling their hair over their arms like it’s an accessory.

Ladies, here’s a tip. If you have to pick your hair up rather than trip on it? It’s too long.

Next, let’s think about nails.

They look like talons! It’s absurd! Granted, I haven’t seen these particular nails in real life, but I’ve seen many just like them. The ones that stand out belong to a particular woman in the shoe department of a store that my mom goes to. We cringe every time.

Again ladies, here’s your intervention: when your nails are this long, no one’s staring at them out of admiration. They’re staring because they’re half-wondering if you’re a harpy, or a fury, or… some kind of creature that needs talons. Trim those bad boys.

And the final long thing that annoys me?

When my car is in the shop for an unexpectedly long time.

Sigh.